Dinner

Alexie and I have been splitting dinners. The problem we've been having recently is how to split them. It was easy during the school year, because our schedules were so routine. I was gone on Wednesdays and Thursdays, she was gone Mondays. Now, however, it seems like no week has the same routine. One week she got together with her friends five days of the week. The next week I go out almost every afternoon. It has become a sort of "Whoever is here cooks" kind of schedule. Not very rigorous, but it suits me just fine since I'm always off to somewhere exciting. Tonight I go to a fuddy-duddy cookout for Zach Wamp, Republican candidate for governor. Hooray! Politics!

Polls

Phew, I certainly am publishing this late in the day. I am just so lazy on the weekends. Doubly so on weekends in the summer. Anyway, Mexican food is the best food. Not too hard to believe since it is the spiciest of all four options. Oh yeah!

Yeah. The new poll is as follows: How many syllables are in the proper name: "Carl." Pretty dumb poll, right? Well that's just your opinion.

Yum

Alexie made some delicious Chinese food for dinner. Since Dad was off celebrating his partner's 65th birthday with the younger kids, I got to eat all I wanted. Mmmm. Yummy.

Anyway, it inspired me so much I decided to make a poll determining which country's food is the best: Chinese, Mexican, Italian, or American. Most of you will point out that the only food we've actually tasted is American and if we got spaghetti in Italy or tacos in Mexico we would be extremely surprised by what we get. Probably a dead raw octopus or something. Therefore I don't mean Chinese food from China, I mean Chinese food from America, etc.

I think it is more sensitive to call it Chinese-American food and Mexican-American food, or maybe just Food of Color.

P.S. American food consists of burgers, fried chicken, etc. Just because here in America we typically wouldn't say "American Food," you might be confused as to the label. I really only included it because I prefer polls with four labels rather than three

Bribery

This summer my siblings have all been drafted by Mom into the "Resteraunt Club." This means that they have to memorize a certain number of Bible verses and then I will drive them someplace nice to eat. Implied is the fact that I also have to memorize the verses or else I'm just going to have to sit there watching my siblings eat. Oh well, a little Bible memory never hurt anyone. Wish me luck.

Results are In!

Alright, next time you are packing your schoolbags, which for me will be late August, remember these two extremely important items: 1) Food. 2) Nuclear Bomb.

The electors couldn't decide which one was more important, so if you have room for both, pack them. If you have a bit of extra room, you can also consider packing some homework.

Results: Food-3 Homework-1 Shorts-1 Nuclear Bomb-3

Alright! That's awesome! I'll think of a new poll soon and make another post either today or tomorrow about it.

Deserted

In honor of Thursday, I'm putting up a poll. Here's the attached scenario:
If you were deserted at school because your sister was taking the Classics Club out to dinner, instead of, oh say, taking you home for dinner, which of the following things would you be sure to have:

1) Food, so you won't starve while waiting for someone to just kill you already.
2) Homework, so at least you can pass otherwise useless time studying for finals! (Pansies)
3) Shorts, so you could go work out in the ARC without being chased away by interns with pitchforks
4) A Nuclear Bomb, so that when you get really bored you can cause the Nuclear Holocaust in Chattanooga (NHC)

Thunder vs. Rice

Has it ever stunned you how your younger siblings can't improvise a decent rhyme to save their lives? For example, this morning it was raining and one of my brothers was singing, "Thunder is nice! Thunder is nice! Thunder is awesome! It's better than rice!" Now personally, I prefer rice. On the other hand, thunder and rice have absolutely nothing in common. I'd say it is like comparing apples and oranges, but at least those two are both fruit. Thunder and rice aren't even both edible! Thunder is sound, and rice is food. Two totally different things! Anyways, why bother using "rice" when "nice" isn't even a very good adjective to describe thunder? Thunder is cool! Thunder is awesome! Thunder is NOT nice.

Ode to Emily

Today is Emily's birthday, so this post is all about her. I saw her for the first time at about noon because I was gone at Angel Food starting at 5:00 in the morning. Heather made a cake of a pink poodle out of a lamb-shaped cake mold. Pretty awesome, right? The reason it is a pink poodle is because Emily's Webkinz, which is a type of stuffed animal, is also a pink poodle and she loves it to death. Of course, that is in part because Webkinz have an online site where you play addictive online games with your digital Webkinz. Emily is always agitating to be allowed on the computer to play Webkinz. Since there are only two computers that are connected to the internet, she is typically ignored. That is, on days that aren't her birthday.

Unwelcome Love

I was working on my Physics Report and my appetite in the computer lab when I received a call from my Dad.
"Hey ho buddy! Heather has made a delicious dinner especially for you so if you want to come home, you may!"
Now, I knew that if I left campus, I wasn't coming back. Naturally I declined. The only problem being that I was extremely and ravishingly hungry and all I had to eat were two sandwiches with peanut butter that had gone bad that morning. (I knew it had since the one I ate before my Genetics Test tasted really funny.) Unfortunately, knowing that there is good food somewhere only makes bad food taste worse. I'm going to have to eat these monstrocities at some point, but I'm holding off because I hear that hunger is the best sauce. I'm trying to drown the sandwiches in it.

Oh yeah, my Physics Report still sucks and it is only one page long. The last two reports have had points taken off for being too short so I literally copied the same sentence and pasted it 12 times with all my different results plugged in. (You do the same experiment twelve times in this lab. Oh the pain.) Yes, even with all that it is still only a single page long. AAAH!

Danny

For the past week, and for a few days more, we've had another member in the McPherson Family. His name is Danny and he is about Andrew's age. He eats a ton of breakfast, goes to McCallie for the entire day, returns about dinner time, and then eats a ton of dinner. Although he eats great quantities, he does discriminate in his tastes. A few days ago, he came in to dinner and we were eating some sort of meat. Anyway, Alexie was the only person still eating at that time so the interchange was very entertaining:

Danny: Hey, Lexie. What's the protein value in this?

Alexie: Who cares?

Danny: No, I just really want to know. Can I see the case this came in?

Alexie: No. I threw it away.

Danny: Oh.

...

Danny: Can I see a case of the same type of meat?

Alexie: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Recently, we were all having a drawing contest to see who could draw Danny the best. Alexie won. I scanned in the picture and if I can figure out how to attach it it will be below:

I was going to post this to Facebook so his sisters could enjoy it but I couldn't figure out how to upload pictures to Facebook so I gave up. Ah well. At least it is online!

Alexie

Alexie said I should make a blog post about how awesome she is. She followed it up by advising that I don't actually do so because every time I mention her online, you lovely blog readers start talking to her about stuff you read on the blog while she tries to figure out how you know these things. Well, now you can creep her out some more with some random trivia that may or may not be true.

1) Last semester she gave her teacher, Dr. Covino a piece of yummy yellow cake that was left over from Classics Club. This might or might not be the only reason she got an 'A' in this class.

2) A few days ago she tried to get a picture of Dr. Davies on her phone. He got mad and rebuked her. Anyway, she now has a picture of Dr. Davies on her phone, but you can't see his face because he put his hand up to block it.

3) She decided that someday in her future she will become a teacher and include in her syllabus "Cake... 3%" She will remind her students not to put this off to the last second, because if she gets a rush of cake in the last week of the semester she might not be able to eat it all immediately and the students won't get their grade.

I know two of these fun trivia facts are about cake, but that was what we were talking about on the way home, so tough.

Be Prepared

Ha! Last week Alexie never came with my dinner so I spent six hours suffering from teenage male scale hunger. (On the richter scale, that would be a 6.) Today I planned ahead! I have brought with me six sandwiches and two liters of soda. Ha ha! Now I'll never go hungry! Hooray!

The downside is that carrying this much food makes my bag almost as heavy as Ariel's. (It still isn't comparable to Megan's, but whatever.) If I do this every Thursday, I will end up with some severe spondylosis in my old age. *shudder*

I've been wondering throughout the day... which is heavier - a cubic meter of paper or a cubic meter of peanut butter sandwiches and soda? Hmmmm...

On the other hand, this means that my friends study about as much as I eat.

Vanishing Meals

It is the most mysterious thing. Today I am on campus all day starting at 9:00 a.m and ending at 10:00 p.m. I have classes, Parking Appeals Committee, and then RUF. So naturally I packed twice as much food for twice as many meals. But all four of my sandwiches are already gone and I'm still hungry. Grr. Fortunately, Alexie is coming back to campus for Classics Club and I have called home and requested that she pack a dinner for me. It's just so odd that my lunch disappears twice as fast on the day I need a meal for dinner. Sigh.

More Option Play

Isn't it frustrating how many forks in the road of life there are? It seems like only last month I was deciding whether I wanted to take this route or that route. Then I chose route two and hit a road block: The class filled up instantaneously. So here are a couple of options:

Option 1: Go back to the last fork in the road and take Option 1, Anatomy etc.
Option 2: Force Add my way into Microbiology. (According to the schedule of classes, two people have already done this.)
Option 3: Move my plan ahead a semester and take Genetics. (I wanted to take it with friends in case it was Evolutionary.)
Option 4: Go totally nuts and take two Gen Ed. courses. (Probably PHIL 101 and 102 in one semester.)

So input. Option 4 would take me a while to create and I would have to probably make some sacrifices. (Like lunch on Wednesday.) Option 3 is the most appealing because the Genetics course is at 8:00 in the morning so I won't have any classes during lunch break. On the other hand, the Genetics course is at 8:00 in the morning which compromises breakfast. What is it with classes and mealtimes!? (Maybe I just eat too many meals...)

Nausea-induced starvation

I've always wondered why Ariel always refuses to take the food I offer her, even though it was always free and I'm only giving it to her because I selfishly took too much and can't eat it. Well I finally figured it out. Yesterday, Dad took me aside when I was at home massaging my aching legs and said "Hey Duncan. I didn't want to say anything, but your table manners are disgusting. Your mouth was open as you chewed. It made me feel sick."

So now I figured out why my friends don't eat while I'm eating. They feel ill. Now I'm going to have to do some actual work and fix these sordid table manners of mine. Grumble grumble grumble. Otherwise, my friends might die of low blood sugar caused by nausea-induced starvation.

Garlic Breath!

Today, I dined with Methodists with a bunch of my friends. I actually received an e-mail from Megan that told me that they would NOT meet at the Methodist center. Fortunately, I ignored it. I met them at the door. Well, the Methodists gave us some yummy lasagna that I ate a whole lot of (Ariel couldn't finish hers, ha.) and garlic bread that left you tasting garlic for the rest of the day.

Fortunately, this did not stop me from being a complete GENIUS in Physics class. I did the first quiz and got a 15/10 for a score. And he handed me back the extra credit today. I was the ONLY PERSON who actually did it. So my scores are through the roof in Physics. And I haven't even had my first test yet. Hooray!

Rude Awakening

Last night Lexie was planning all the meals for the next week. I was standing there making suggestions.

"And what will we have on Saturday?" Lexie asked.

"Hmmmmmmm. Saturday..." I said thinking. After all, I clean dinner on Saturday so I need to make sure it is something rather easy to clean.

"It's our big sendoff-to-college meal so it has to be special," Lexie said.

"Uh what? We go back to college on Monday," I said, slightly worried.

"This Monday?" Lexie asked.

"Yeah, four days from now," I said.

"Nyoron," Lexie moaned. I figure she had to re-plan all of the week's meals to take into account that she wouldn't be there.

5+5 Summit!

Something weird happened last night while the Three Musketeers were eating ice cream. (That would be Duncan, Andrew, and David, for those who aren't familiar with McPherson Terminology.) Suddenly, Andrew, who had been staring at my shirt for some time which read "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything. SUMMIT!", shouted "5+5! SUMMIT!"

"What?" I asked, figuring that Andrew was acting weird again.

"5+5!!" GRIIIN. "SUMMIT!"

It was like reading a convoluted dying message by a professor who is trying to tell you both the murderer's name and his method in one word.

"My God, Duncan, you are SO stupid!" said David, who might I point out, took the name of the Lord his God in vain on the sabbath, thus breaking two commandments in one sentence. Three if you count Jesus' spiel on to insult your brother is to murder him. And he probably wasn't exactly honoring his father and his mother either!

"What? What?" I said looking back and forth at their two demented grins.

"Everyone knows the answer to this question! It's ten!" David said.

"Huh?"

"5+5! Sum! It!" David said.

So, as you can see, it was just Andrew being weird again.

Super Metabolism

One day, Dad and his trusty friend Super Metabolism found themselves surrounded by an army of sweets.
"There must be a million of them," Dad said looking around in awe at the forces gathered against him.
"Just don't slow me down," said Super Metabolism, testing his metabolic ray gun with a few tentative squirts.
YAAAAH!!
"They just keep coming!" Dad yelled, chopping down two peppermint sticks with a swift stroke of his incisor.
"They've breached the wall!" Super Metabolism shouted, dousing two Snickers bars with hydrochloric acid.
"There's no end to them!"
"I can't take this much longer-AGH!"
After a few minutes nothing remained of the army but scattered wrappers and those oither candies (not spelled correctly) because those are gross.
"We did it, Super Metabolism!" Dad shouted triumphantly. No response. "Super Metabolism?" On the ground behind him lay Super Metabolism, an Oreo having clogged his heart. In only a few minutes he would undoubtedly die of heartburn.
"Heh, yes we did." Super Metabolism whispered right before he coughed up some blood.
"N-no! Super Metabolism! We made a promise! We promised we'd be skinny forever! Remember?" Dad cried, manly tears rolling down his face.
"Heh, can't believe I ate the whole thing."

And so a great hero died that day, a metabolism that knew no equal and kept Dad looking like the skeletons he used to hang in his closet, only healthier. He was replaced by Underpaid Worker Metabolism who is constantly on strike and doesn't help Dad much. The moral of the story is not to gloat in your fortune of having a Super Metabolism because it will probably disappear by the time you turn forty and you will have no friends. OK, I admit you will still have lots of friends, but your children will make fun of you.

What's for dinner?

So I was chilling at my computer and celebrating my new breakthrough, having discovered that I was multiplying my variable by -1 instead of 0, when Luke barged in and yelled "Hey everybody! It's time for dinner!"

"What's for dinner?" Connor asked, peeling himself away from his computer.

"Chips and salsa!" Luke said, his eyes alight.

"And cheese!" yelled Emily as she hopped in.

"With a side of Mexican Casserole, I presume?" I asked, since I am as sarcastic and unrelatable as Artemis Fowl.

"Exactly!" Luke said, bounding out again to go tell someone else the good news.