Error

According to the Application of the sample mean to the population, everyone who reads my blog is also an innie. Weird. Let's see if I can think of some logical reasons that this might be so.

Alexie says that only freaks and misfits have outie belly buttons. She says they are exceedingly rare. That's why only David has one. Again Alexie says that David is so tightly tied around the apron strings that his umbilical cord didn't come out until 18 months after he was born. Ha ha ha!

Therefore everyone who reads my blog is clearly not a freak and a misfit. Secondly, David doesn't read my blog...

Yum

Alexie made some delicious Chinese food for dinner. Since Dad was off celebrating his partner's 65th birthday with the younger kids, I got to eat all I wanted. Mmmm. Yummy.

Anyway, it inspired me so much I decided to make a poll determining which country's food is the best: Chinese, Mexican, Italian, or American. Most of you will point out that the only food we've actually tasted is American and if we got spaghetti in Italy or tacos in Mexico we would be extremely surprised by what we get. Probably a dead raw octopus or something. Therefore I don't mean Chinese food from China, I mean Chinese food from America, etc.

I think it is more sensitive to call it Chinese-American food and Mexican-American food, or maybe just Food of Color.

P.S. American food consists of burgers, fried chicken, etc. Just because here in America we typically wouldn't say "American Food," you might be confused as to the label. I really only included it because I prefer polls with four labels rather than three

Couches

Today we got new couches! Woo hoo! It has been kind of awkward in the Living Room because we had one green couch and one white couch. Oh yeah, and Mom absolutely hated the white couch. The general sentiment was: "Hey! Don't jump on the green couch! Jump on the white couch!" Therefore it was time to get new couches.

Mom and Dad went out to eat earlier this week. Immediately afterward they ran over to the store in order to get there before it closed at 7:00. The employees were closing everything when they showed up. Mom ran around asking the price of couches while the employees went about their work closing the store and answering her questions. Then all of a sudden she said, "Alright. We'll take three of these." Suddenly the employees stopped closing shop. That is how Mom bought three couches in three minutes. The couches in question are brown and comfy. David likes their new wood smell. Alexie tells him to enjoy it while it lasts because it won't last long.

Oh yeah, I promised everyone a new poll didn't I? Well, here's a boring one: What color couches are the best?

Anti-Talent

Recently we had dinner with our old pastor from Florida. He caught us up on all the news of our old friends. One thing Alexie noted afterward was that all our friends from Florida were really really athletic although we were not. Mom then noted that when we moved here we made a lot of musically gifted friends, although we were not. It is kind of weird that we hopped into two cliques that we definitely did not belong in. It got me to wondering... am I worse at athletics or music?

Out of sync

Hard to believe, but this is the first time I've used the internet for three days. I was constantly using the internet during my school season, but now I don't. It is ironic that I do less with my free time when I don't have any responsibilities. Alexie and I also noted that we have been waking up early feeling refreshed and ready to go at 6:00 in the morning. During the school season we had to get up at 6:00 to get to school, but now we are free to sleep in. We just don't. What is the matter with us!? However our parents have been putting that pent-up energy to work quite nicely. Just today I took the kids to the Creative Discovery Museum for three hours. My goodness. I'm exhausted.

Tween idols

You know what are hilarious? UTC Echo articles about Twilight. There are a lot of them. For example, one I read had this snappy headline: Cullen challenges Potter. There's a boring headline if ever I saw one. Here's a better one: Who is Hotter? Cullen or Potter? Anyways, the most recent article was titled "Men not immune to Twilight's bite." Pfffft. Ha ha ha ha ha. What a bunch of losers. Don't these undergraduate journalist wannabes have anything better to do with their lives? Anyways, the journalist pretty much wandered around asking guys whether they had read twilight and which one would they rather be: a vampire or a werewolf. Here were some answers:

Dr. Sligh: I would be a vampire simply because there is so much history to be learned. (Alexie is taking this guy's British Literature class next semester. Ha!)

J. Blake: Edward scares me and Jacob is a classy dude. I would want to be Jacob because he is ripped, seems cool and is pretty hardcore. (According to them, neither this guy nor Dr. Sligh have actually read Twilight.)

J. Petty: I would defiantly be a werewolf because I think I look like one already. (This guy was in my Latin class. He doesn't actually look all that wolfish.)

Anyway, newest poll: Which totally tween idol would you be? Edward, Jacob, Harry Potter, or Dr. Sligh?

Deserted

In honor of Thursday, I'm putting up a poll. Here's the attached scenario:
If you were deserted at school because your sister was taking the Classics Club out to dinner, instead of, oh say, taking you home for dinner, which of the following things would you be sure to have:

1) Food, so you won't starve while waiting for someone to just kill you already.
2) Homework, so at least you can pass otherwise useless time studying for finals! (Pansies)
3) Shorts, so you could go work out in the ARC without being chased away by interns with pitchforks
4) A Nuclear Bomb, so that when you get really bored you can cause the Nuclear Holocaust in Chattanooga (NHC)

Easy as Cheesecake

I might as well tell all of you this now, I got my driver's license this morning. Don't worry, most of the roads are still safe. My parents have told me that I will not drive to anywhere except for Wal-Mart and Golden Gallon for the first month of having a license. Of course, as previous experiences with Golden Gallon have shown, this doesn't necessarily mean I'll be any safer. Cheers.

The driving test was phenomenally easy, however. I can't believe Alexie failed it. Of course, when she turned left she turned into the wrong lane, so maybe it is slightly understandable. On her second try, she drove around the entire testing site with her trunk open. Sigh. Alas for Alexie. Of course, I'm brilliant, and since she didn't require me to park in front of any gas stations I passed with flying colors.

I got a job!!!

Hey, I've heard there is a really bad economic downturn right now. Well, apparently it hasn't hit Chattanooga. I have received a job offer from the Physics department and have already gotten a job as a TA in the Chemistry lab from June 13-July 11. Perhaps nobody applies for this job because it starts at 8:00 in the morning and they don't want to have to wake up their cranky sister on a warm summer day to get her to drive him. That is possible. In my case, however, the economic profit exceeds the economic cost. Then again, this might be a heavy incentive for my parents to get me my driver's license so they won't have to put up with Alexie and me.

Planning Ahead

Last night, at about 9:00, I asked Andrew whether he was going to his friends' house the next day.
"Oh, I dunno. I haven't heard back from them," he replied.
"Hold on a minute! There is no way you are going to hear back from your friends before I go to school tomorrow at 8:00! They'll still be asleep!" I replied.
"Well, yeah," he said.
"Well, should I ask for a ride from Luke then? Or are they still sick so I should go home with Alexie?" I said.
"I dunno. I'll know tomorrow," he said.
This is not what I needed. I needed some information. As it turned out, Alexie figured that I was hitching a ride so she was going to leave without me without calling. Of course, it wouldn't make any difference because I discovered upon getting to school that Mom had borrowed my cell phone and never returned it. Great! Just when I need a communication route to both Alexie and Andrew, my cell phone goes missing! What good is a cell phone if it isn't around when you need it?

Anyway, I called home using the courtesy landline at UTC and got all pertinent information. Sheesh. So exhausting. I need to plan for communication crises better.

Not just any Tumors!!

Teratomas!!!

If you want a boring description, Teratomas are tumors that have tissues that are normally derivatives of any of the germ layers. Here's the cool description: They're tumors that have teeth and hair!!! AND EYES!! AND BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!! (in rare instances, of course.) Yeah, teratomas are bloody awesome. I know that most of you, i.e. all my readers who aren't Luke K, are thinking Eeeeew, why would Duncan want to do a report on something so inherently sick. (Of course, I'm not going to make statements for Luke and he can be perfectly disgusted if he wants to be.)

Mom is bent on changing my mind. I come home and she says "Duncan, when I was in dietary school I studied this really fascinating disorder called PHP (disclaimer: doesn't actually exist. I forgot whatever it was that Mom said.) that causes weight loss! Pretty exciting, right?" Yeah, well a teratoma is definitely cooler. Mom also suggested ulcers, but I vetoed that one because ulcers are the example used over and over in my textbook for the class. Anyway, ulcers are cool, sure, but teratomas are cooler. Alexie gave me some manly advice that she got from a friend: I'd rather write an F paper on something I find interesting than an A paper on something I find dull.

Of course, I totally intend to get an A in this paper.

Hmm... Any more posts on teratomas and I might have to get them their own label.

Fix-A-Flat

On Saturday, Carlock came down with a flat. (Carlock is the name of Alexie's car. She named it.) I was busy shooting the neighbor's kids (Bang!) when Dad called me and told me that today was the day I was going to learn to fix a flat.
Dad: Now, pay close attention Duncan. First shake this can of Fix-A-Flat vigorously (he demonstrates) and attach it the wheel. Then press this button.
We stared at the can for a while as it made noise like someone trying really hard to hold his breath.
Dad: Duncan, does it look like it's going in?
Duncan: Oh, sure Dad. (It wasn't, but hey. It was my first time. How should I know what fix-a-flat stuff going through a tube should look like?)
Dad: Hmm...
Dad then decided to take the tube off the tire and that was when the can erupted. Yellow fix-a-flat stuff was splurting out both the end of the tube and the base of the tube. Dad kept trying to reattach it, but it was too late. After all the air and all the chemical was out of the can, Dad depressedly stared at the mess of yellow goop all over Carlock's front tire and the garage floor.
If I were Thomas Edison, I would say, "It's not that I failed to learn how to fix a flat tire, it is that I learned one way not to fix a flat tire!"
Although... I still don't know exactly what was keeping the fix-a-flat foam from going through the tube...

Crusty Computer

Right now I'm sitting at the internet computer at home that no one uses. There are two computers that access the internet, both in Mom's room. Sometimes when Mom doesn't want to go to the trouble of using the other computer, she uses this one. Since it doesn't load websites, she quickly gives up. Recently, she called Alexie and Andrew down to take a look at the computer and figure out why the internet is running so slowly. Both of them had no idea what was going on and moaned endlessly about their uselessness. (Teenagers tend to plead ignorance whenever their parents want them to work. I know since I am one.) They aren't scientists, you see, rocket or otherwise.

Any good scientist, or any person with an ounce of logic, would have noticed that the internet will work if you are logged in to the username Teaching Tools, but not if you are logged into David. The reason? The username David has dozens of viruses and updater agents running every second you are logged in. The viruses don't slow down the computer because of sinister design, they slow it down because there are so many of them clogging up the computer's circuits. The reason I know this is when I log off of "David" so that I can use the internet, half a dozen programs with names like "BLGOFGupdateragent.exe" and "COMPUTERAIDS.exe" all have problems shutting down and so therefore each pop up errors that require you to press "end now" to move through them all. If I were trying to fix the problem, I'd start there. It is a problem when your computer is so old, even its viruses are decrepit.

... Shoot.

Groan. I am currently overcome by a vast depression. Today is the first time in my entire life that I have run out of time on a test. I was so ashamed. I was furiously scribbling away at the last question when my Physics Teacher said "This is my first call for papers." Since I didn't want to be thought of as the kind of student who ignores his teacher and finishes his test anyway I handed it in. Alexie said that whenever she hands hers in unfinished she gets a 'B' so that is probably what I'm going to get. Siiiiiiiigh... Perhaps if I hadn't taken so long to remember Kirkhoff's law during the last question... or maybe if my calculator hadn't been acting up during the first question. Alas. All is vanity.

Groundhog Day... 2!

Recently I wrote a blog post about Feb. 2. Hoorah. It's today. My Physics test was pushed back so it is today. I discovered I have a Genetics test today, until it was pushed back as well. The pro-life club meeting isn't happening. I think the Lacrosse meeting will be overcome by the Pre-Med society meeting... unless Alexie doesn't drive me to school at all. If that happens, I'll miss fencing as well. *blubber*

Also... BANNER! WOO HOO! Right now I'm in the library waiting for the clock to strike ten so I can pretend to sign in to classes. Hooray~! I am going to sign in to the best classes. :D

Danny

For the past week, and for a few days more, we've had another member in the McPherson Family. His name is Danny and he is about Andrew's age. He eats a ton of breakfast, goes to McCallie for the entire day, returns about dinner time, and then eats a ton of dinner. Although he eats great quantities, he does discriminate in his tastes. A few days ago, he came in to dinner and we were eating some sort of meat. Anyway, Alexie was the only person still eating at that time so the interchange was very entertaining:

Danny: Hey, Lexie. What's the protein value in this?

Alexie: Who cares?

Danny: No, I just really want to know. Can I see the case this came in?

Alexie: No. I threw it away.

Danny: Oh.

...

Danny: Can I see a case of the same type of meat?

Alexie: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Recently, we were all having a drawing contest to see who could draw Danny the best. Alexie won. I scanned in the picture and if I can figure out how to attach it it will be below:

I was going to post this to Facebook so his sisters could enjoy it but I couldn't figure out how to upload pictures to Facebook so I gave up. Ah well. At least it is online!

Alexie

Alexie said I should make a blog post about how awesome she is. She followed it up by advising that I don't actually do so because every time I mention her online, you lovely blog readers start talking to her about stuff you read on the blog while she tries to figure out how you know these things. Well, now you can creep her out some more with some random trivia that may or may not be true.

1) Last semester she gave her teacher, Dr. Covino a piece of yummy yellow cake that was left over from Classics Club. This might or might not be the only reason she got an 'A' in this class.

2) A few days ago she tried to get a picture of Dr. Davies on her phone. He got mad and rebuked her. Anyway, she now has a picture of Dr. Davies on her phone, but you can't see his face because he put his hand up to block it.

3) She decided that someday in her future she will become a teacher and include in her syllabus "Cake... 3%" She will remind her students not to put this off to the last second, because if she gets a rush of cake in the last week of the semester she might not be able to eat it all immediately and the students won't get their grade.

I know two of these fun trivia facts are about cake, but that was what we were talking about on the way home, so tough.

Vanishing Meals

It is the most mysterious thing. Today I am on campus all day starting at 9:00 a.m and ending at 10:00 p.m. I have classes, Parking Appeals Committee, and then RUF. So naturally I packed twice as much food for twice as many meals. But all four of my sandwiches are already gone and I'm still hungry. Grr. Fortunately, Alexie is coming back to campus for Classics Club and I have called home and requested that she pack a dinner for me. It's just so odd that my lunch disappears twice as fast on the day I need a meal for dinner. Sigh.

Top Topics

After much clicking and studying, I've found out my top five topics of blogging this year. The winner was Andrew with 28, which is unfortunate because I usually badmouth Andrew in posts about him. The next three topics all clocked in at 27: Alexie (posts where Alexie comes in and says something either snide or hilarious), Mom (posts where Mom comes in and either tell me something I don't want to hear or worries about me too much), and School (whining). The last one, Politics with 26 posts, was probably bolstered by my trip to North Carolina as 16 of my 26 posts on this topic were written there. I have 223 posts overall since I started on March 30th. This amounts to about 5.78 posts a week, or 0.83 posts a day. Although I would have been much happier to have a round 1.00 posts a day, I guess I'll just have to make do with my lack of insight. (or I could just publish 77 more posts, including this one.)

Douglas Has Arrived

Status Report: After four days delay for snow and a missed flight in Texas, Douglas has arrived. Heather is much quieter this morning: She's probably more talkative online than in person when it comes to Douglas. Alexie has not come downstairs yet. Since Douglas was lain over in Texas for a while, he bought Emily a Sheriff's Badge, which is really great since we got Bang for Christmas and Emily and Luke have been really loving it. Dad loves it and plays it whenever we have five players, but the older kids minus myself are uncooperative and unenthusiastic. The problem is that Bang is not a game for kids under the age of five and the subtle intrigue often proves elusive for kids with the mental capacity of Emily, Luke, and Andrew. Maybe Douglas would play...