New Poll

I was so bored that I didn't make a new poll last week. But I made a new one this week in honor of the new Twilight coming out! Alright, everyone, the question that everyone's been asking: Edward or Jacob!! Since I haven't read the books (and probably none of my voters have either) there will probably not be much insight in this poll, but give it your best shot.

Error

According to the Application of the sample mean to the population, everyone who reads my blog is also an innie. Weird. Let's see if I can think of some logical reasons that this might be so.

Alexie says that only freaks and misfits have outie belly buttons. She says they are exceedingly rare. That's why only David has one. Again Alexie says that David is so tightly tied around the apron strings that his umbilical cord didn't come out until 18 months after he was born. Ha ha ha!

Therefore everyone who reads my blog is clearly not a freak and a misfit. Secondly, David doesn't read my blog...

Complementary Opposites

There aren't many complementary opposites in the world. In fact, I might even have made the term up. For those of you who don't know Complementary Opposites are opposites that cover everything. For example: Black and White are not complementary opposites because things can be gray, or blue, etc. But Dead and Alive are complementary opposites because you are either one or you are the other. Period. However the poll question: Are you Dead or Alive? would be pretty boring. It would really only tell me how many of you aren't taking my poll questions seriously. (Answer: Most of you, including myself)

Anyways, enjoy your new poll. FYI an Innie is someone whose belly button is sunk into their stomach and an Outie is someone whose belly button sticks out. Don't worry this poll subscribes to the Law of Hippa and the information you give us will not be disclosed to anyone but your personal physicians and interested millionaires.

Demographic Survey

My demographic survey is complete! I have only one human in my entire audience! Who could have guessed! I have mostly elves and orcs (which are technically elves, it is just that they became evil and therefore became hideously ugly. You know, happens all the time in real life.) Surprisingly I don't have any dwarves. Real shocker there. I would think that my brothers were actually dwarves in disguise given their love of everything Dwarf Fortress.

Oh yeah, I'm probably going to take a new tack to polls. I'm going to start using true/false and yes/no questions because I simply don't have as many readers as I have options in Multiple Choice questions.

Poof

You may have noticed that I removed all the poll gadgets gunking up the side of my blog. You may not have cared. If you ever do care enough to look back at all the polls and poll results posts, they all happen to be labeled "Polls." Just click the label at the bottom of this blog post and a world of useless public opinion information will be made open to you. Whoop.

Consensus

Alright, general consensus states that the word "Carl" has only one syllable in it, but then again general consensus also states that sausages are edible, so you know how much you can trust it.

Also, no one has published a poem containing the word "Carl" in it. For shame. Everyone loses the Poem Contest. I will keep the Grand Prize for myself. It is all mine! I'm not even going to tell any one what it is lest they envy it and seek my life for it! Ha!

Alright. Here's the next poll: If you were a redshirt from Lord of the Rings, what race would you belong to!?!? Man, Elf, Dwarf, Orc.

There are two reasons that "Hobbit" is not a choice. 1) I consider five options to be too many when polling four people. 2) Hobbits generally don't form into armies and get decimated.

Polls

Phew, I certainly am publishing this late in the day. I am just so lazy on the weekends. Doubly so on weekends in the summer. Anyway, Mexican food is the best food. Not too hard to believe since it is the spiciest of all four options. Oh yeah!

Yeah. The new poll is as follows: How many syllables are in the proper name: "Carl." Pretty dumb poll, right? Well that's just your opinion.

Exit Poll

The results aren't officially counted yet, but the exit polls indicate that brown has already won by a landslide. Green trails 4-1 and white has no votes at all. So as you can see, there has been a definite improvement in our living room with the addition of these couches. That's always good to know.

I'll add a new poll when this poll officially finishes and when I officially come up with a good idea for a new poll.

Couches

Today we got new couches! Woo hoo! It has been kind of awkward in the Living Room because we had one green couch and one white couch. Oh yeah, and Mom absolutely hated the white couch. The general sentiment was: "Hey! Don't jump on the green couch! Jump on the white couch!" Therefore it was time to get new couches.

Mom and Dad went out to eat earlier this week. Immediately afterward they ran over to the store in order to get there before it closed at 7:00. The employees were closing everything when they showed up. Mom ran around asking the price of couches while the employees went about their work closing the store and answering her questions. Then all of a sudden she said, "Alright. We'll take three of these." Suddenly the employees stopped closing shop. That is how Mom bought three couches in three minutes. The couches in question are brown and comfy. David likes their new wood smell. Alexie tells him to enjoy it while it lasts because it won't last long.

Oh yeah, I promised everyone a new poll didn't I? Well, here's a boring one: What color couches are the best?

Results for the Personal Poll

Wow. Coolest Dude Ever had a ninth hour turn around. I thought for sure it was going to be a tie with only one vote for half of the possible selections. That would be depressing. As it is, the number of votes is still beneath the number of choices, meaning the data is pretty useless. Anyways, two people think I'm super cool and one person thinks I'm super smart. Hooray.

I'm using my psychic powers to think up a poll right now. Wait... It's coming... It's coming... Oooo-ooo-oooo. Nothing yet. Come back later today.

Poll Problems

Frankly, I doubt anyone really cares to read about what I think, especially when most of them know me and anytime there is something really exciting happens we are going to talk about when we next see each other. Therefore I have been scheming up ways to increase blog traffic like some sort of wannabe internet guru or something. I recently told myself that the best way to increase blog traffic was to make a poll at least once a week. However, I have been staring at the screen for five minutes and have still not thought up a decent poll to post on my blog. The thought of a personal poll has occurred to me, like "In all brute honesty, how would you describe me? Coolest Dude Ever, Future President, Mr. Universe, Super Genius" but I have heard that personal polls are unwise, especially when half of your voting population are your little brothers and their friends. Little boys have a tendency to vote with the negative answer, although with this poll I wonder how they would do that?

Results

I bet you are all wondering why it took so long to get this post up exclaiming the winner of the last poll. It is because all three losers wanted a recount.

Harry: Wait wait wait. Hold on! Count those again!

Jacob: Yeah, I smell a rat!

Edward: You mean I didn't even get one!?

Yes, so after I counted all seven votes four times, I have concluded that Dr. Sligh is the winner! He is the tweeniest idol of all time! Woo hoo!

I'll make a new poll when I think of one.

Tween idols

You know what are hilarious? UTC Echo articles about Twilight. There are a lot of them. For example, one I read had this snappy headline: Cullen challenges Potter. There's a boring headline if ever I saw one. Here's a better one: Who is Hotter? Cullen or Potter? Anyways, the most recent article was titled "Men not immune to Twilight's bite." Pfffft. Ha ha ha ha ha. What a bunch of losers. Don't these undergraduate journalist wannabes have anything better to do with their lives? Anyways, the journalist pretty much wandered around asking guys whether they had read twilight and which one would they rather be: a vampire or a werewolf. Here were some answers:

Dr. Sligh: I would be a vampire simply because there is so much history to be learned. (Alexie is taking this guy's British Literature class next semester. Ha!)

J. Blake: Edward scares me and Jacob is a classy dude. I would want to be Jacob because he is ripped, seems cool and is pretty hardcore. (According to them, neither this guy nor Dr. Sligh have actually read Twilight.)

J. Petty: I would defiantly be a werewolf because I think I look like one already. (This guy was in my Latin class. He doesn't actually look all that wolfish.)

Anyway, newest poll: Which totally tween idol would you be? Edward, Jacob, Harry Potter, or Dr. Sligh?

Results are In!

Alright, next time you are packing your schoolbags, which for me will be late August, remember these two extremely important items: 1) Food. 2) Nuclear Bomb.

The electors couldn't decide which one was more important, so if you have room for both, pack them. If you have a bit of extra room, you can also consider packing some homework.

Results: Food-3 Homework-1 Shorts-1 Nuclear Bomb-3

Alright! That's awesome! I'll think of a new poll soon and make another post either today or tomorrow about it.

Deserted

In honor of Thursday, I'm putting up a poll. Here's the attached scenario:
If you were deserted at school because your sister was taking the Classics Club out to dinner, instead of, oh say, taking you home for dinner, which of the following things would you be sure to have:

1) Food, so you won't starve while waiting for someone to just kill you already.
2) Homework, so at least you can pass otherwise useless time studying for finals! (Pansies)
3) Shorts, so you could go work out in the ARC without being chased away by interns with pitchforks
4) A Nuclear Bomb, so that when you get really bored you can cause the Nuclear Holocaust in Chattanooga (NHC)