I've always wondered why Ariel always refuses to take the food I offer her, even though it was always free and I'm only giving it to her because I selfishly took too much and can't eat it. Well I finally figured it out. Yesterday, Dad took me aside when I was at home massaging my aching legs and said "Hey Duncan. I didn't want to say anything, but your table manners are disgusting. Your mouth was open as you chewed. It made me feel sick."
So now I figured out why my friends don't eat while I'm eating. They feel ill. Now I'm going to have to do some actual work and fix these sordid table manners of mine. Grumble grumble grumble. Otherwise, my friends might die of low blood sugar caused by nausea-induced starvation.
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Do you really have that bad table manners? I've never noticed.
ReplyDeleteThat's because you have the same problem, Luke!
ReplyDeleteOh, Duncan, I've certainly never noticed your tablemanners. I think parents must be extra-sensitive to stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteAnd about the free food... I'm just a really picky eater. That's also why I don't always bring lunch with me; the easiest thing to pack is a sandwich, but if sandwiches sit for too long after they've been made, the bread gets all soggy and gross. Well, anyway, I'll eat your free food if it'll make you feel better. :)