Starcrossed Lovers

It is the most unfortunate news that I have to report today: Douglas is not coming into America today. Britain had the most violent snowstorm it has seen for many a year. All flights were cancelled. The soonest Douglas can get here by is the 27th. You can tell Britain is a socialist country because when flights are cancelled one day, flights are backed up for four days. Maybe more.

I haven't seen Heather today yet, and I don't intend to. Heather will be very snappish and short-tempered since she's been looking forward to this for so long. I'm planning mostly to either hide in my room or in Mom's room where the internet is. Anyway, Heather only leaves her room for meals so it shouldn't be too hard to evade her.

Oh the things liberals think

I've just gotten here and I've already learned dozens of depressing things that have happened in the last few days. Here's a few.

1. Acorn is heading the census. I already knew this from my depressing newspaper but I didn't know that you weren't allowed to help in the census if you were law enforcement, intimidation group (makes sense, but when liberals say intimidation group they mean AAA womens' services not Black Panther (see point 2.)), or anti-illegal immigration groups. You see, someone who is against illegal imigration would probably not count the illegal immigrants as registered voters.

2. There is a group called the Black Panther Party that used scare tactics to keep white people from the polls during the last presidential cycle. The charges were just dropped recently which turned the thing into a big affair. As one of Grandad's talk radio people put it, it's not smart politics to prosecute the people who got you elected.

3. Just the other day the first male was elected as prom queen. A gay guy in Los Angelos. Darn.

4. It was actually a good thing that the North won the Civil War. Double darn.

5. I now have over $500,000 dollars in debt to pay for the rest of my life and the number is growing.

6. Did you know that Andrew Lambert was gay? I didn't. I didn't even care who he was. I just knew he was a good singer.

7. A new Supreme Court Justice is on her way and just the other day she made a racial slur against whites. Terrific.

8. Kim Jong-Il launched another nuclear missile the other day. That makes six, according to John Bolton, the only person who is counting. What else is new?

9. The nice British lady singer had a breakdown. The nice British prince headed Memorial day at the Twin Towers. The nice British economy is collapsing. Yay Britain!

All of this is getting depressing. According to my prediction there will be a war about something. I don't know what yet. It could be national debt, abortion, whatever. I only know that this nation is tearing itself apart and it will soon be torn apart. There's only one thing that can truly symbolize the entirety of my depression: A sad emoticon. :(

Have a couple more for the road. :( :( :( :( :(

Conficker: Dark hybrid between the word 'configure' and a swear word created by Satan himself.

By the way, the swear word in question isn't an English swear word. I know what you were all thinking but that is only because your minds are base and questionable.

The actual swear word is 'ficker' a German word for a piece of anatomy that girls don't have, you guessed it: the brain.

It was supposed to go rampant today and take half a million souls straight to Satan's throne but apparently it wussified or something.

In reality this evil virus that shut down the royal British marines and the British airlines and the standing army of the Netherlands does nothing but keep you from downloading Windows updates. What has Britain come to that it goes into a panic when it can no longer upgrade its service centers? I think it is time to step in and forcefully annex them.

I'm serious, British airlines closed because it couldn't download its own flight schedules. This really shouldn't have been a problem because it's not like they follow these schedules or anything, but they shut down anyway on principle.