Top Topics

After much clicking and studying, I've found out my top five topics of blogging this year. The winner was Andrew with 28, which is unfortunate because I usually badmouth Andrew in posts about him. The next three topics all clocked in at 27: Alexie (posts where Alexie comes in and says something either snide or hilarious), Mom (posts where Mom comes in and either tell me something I don't want to hear or worries about me too much), and School (whining). The last one, Politics with 26 posts, was probably bolstered by my trip to North Carolina as 16 of my 26 posts on this topic were written there. I have 223 posts overall since I started on March 30th. This amounts to about 5.78 posts a week, or 0.83 posts a day. Although I would have been much happier to have a round 1.00 posts a day, I guess I'll just have to make do with my lack of insight. (or I could just publish 77 more posts, including this one.)

Douglas Has Arrived

Status Report: After four days delay for snow and a missed flight in Texas, Douglas has arrived. Heather is much quieter this morning: She's probably more talkative online than in person when it comes to Douglas. Alexie has not come downstairs yet. Since Douglas was lain over in Texas for a while, he bought Emily a Sheriff's Badge, which is really great since we got Bang for Christmas and Emily and Luke have been really loving it. Dad loves it and plays it whenever we have five players, but the older kids minus myself are uncooperative and unenthusiastic. The problem is that Bang is not a game for kids under the age of five and the subtle intrigue often proves elusive for kids with the mental capacity of Emily, Luke, and Andrew. Maybe Douglas would play...

Shakespeare

This question was brought up a few posts ago and since it is of General Interest, I will answer it. What happened to Henry V? (I don't know what actually happened to Henry V, since I haven't read the play, but I suppose if he didn't die at the end of the play, he had to eventually die later, right?)

At first, Mom had As You Like It and Henry V as the two plays we were going to do. Suddenly, Mom discovered that no adults besides herself were going to help out with Shakespeare camp. This was entirely predictable because anyone who has ever coached one Shakespeare camp knows what an insanely boorish hassle it is and quits the next year. Therefore, although interest among youths who want to participate has swelled, participation among parents who want to help has all but vanished.

Anyway, Mom declared that we were only doing one play next year. She selected As You Like It as the play we were going to do. We pointed out that we were certainly going to have more than twenty kids interested so she entered a period of deep meditation and thought. At last she called Mrs. Stewart. Her husband picked up and had no idea who the heck she was or what the heck "Shakespeare camp" was so it was with great hesitation that he handed the phone to Mrs. Stewart.

Mom: Mrs. Stewart, I really need someone to help me next year. I was hoping that you would be the head coach for the second play. We have several college students returning to help. Please please please please please.

Mrs. Stewart: Ah...

Mom: And I'll let you pick the play! Pick any one of the plays I've already abridged (and she listed them) and we'll do it!

So after much considerable consideration, Mrs. Stewart agreed to coach Merchant of Venice. And THAT is why we are doing Merchant of Venice. Ha ha! Now all mysteries and all knowledge have been made known!

New Years Dithering

I've put a request into the Party Czar (Dad) to have a New Years Eve party authorized, but it doesn't look like it'll happen. It'll probably be delayed for decision until Jan 2 if I know Dad. Dad says last time it ran too late and the little kids needed to sleep. (I think he's the one who wants the sleep most, actually.) I promised we'd keep it down to a dull roar. Nada. Heather suddenly bounced up and suggested that since New Years' Day is a Friday we could have a New Years' Fun. Ha. Who parties on New Years' Day besides college football fans? Puh-lease. Anyway, Dad really liked that idea and every time I bring up a New Years' Eve party he parries with a New Years' Day party. Ahhhh man.

Starcrossed Lovers

It is the most unfortunate news that I have to report today: Douglas is not coming into America today. Britain had the most violent snowstorm it has seen for many a year. All flights were cancelled. The soonest Douglas can get here by is the 27th. You can tell Britain is a socialist country because when flights are cancelled one day, flights are backed up for four days. Maybe more.

I haven't seen Heather today yet, and I don't intend to. Heather will be very snappish and short-tempered since she's been looking forward to this for so long. I'm planning mostly to either hide in my room or in Mom's room where the internet is. Anyway, Heather only leaves her room for meals so it shouldn't be too hard to evade her.

Puzzle Addict

It has been really incredible having all this free time. Of course, all I've done is sit and home and do jigsaw puzzles. Here's the general run-down of how the McPhersons do puzzles:

1. We all open the puzzle together as a huge happy family and begin snapping pieces together. Someone does the spine, someone else does the huge title in the center, someone does an enormous face/country, etc. We all grab a huge project and do it.

2. After we've finished each of our huge projects we stick them into the middle of the spine and then have a tenuously square puzzle with a cross of pieces through the center.

3. Everyone leaves except me. Mom and Dad usually have a Netflix to watch, Heather goes upstairs to talk to her boyfriend who is either just getting up or just going to bed, and Alexie and the boys either have "intelligent conversation" in the living room or go to sleep. I continue to place pieces into the puzzle deep into the night.

4. Next morning I wake up and begin work on the puzzle. Dad, being off for an entire week for Christmas, helps too. When we get down to about fifty pieces, kids come out of the woodwork and begin stuffing pieces into their pockets so they can be the person to put the last piece into the puzzle.

5. The puzzle ends. I exhaustedly stare at it thinking how I would never like to do that again. Mom takes a picture of me and the puzzle and then promptly sweeps it into the box and gets out a new one. Then the whole thing starts all over again! Aah!

Somehow I can't stop. I guess this is what it is like to be addicted to something. At least it is something harmless like puzzles instead of something extremely deadly and dangerous like drugs, alcohol, or online gaming.

Mysterious Black Eye

I've developed a mysterious black eye. This is impressive because I have been remarkably peaceful for the past few days. I haven't punched anyone (hard) or been punched by anyone back. I suspect that I just slept on a lego or something. Dad says it might be something like cellulitis and Alexie says it is face cancer. Mom's put me on an antibiotic circuit. Anyway, I'll just wait for it to deflate. It's probably something innocent and harmless like an evil spirit or a parasitic alien.

Finally!

Yahoo! Finals are over! I'm done! I haven't seen my report card yet but I have the 4.0 feeling in my gut. Yay! It would be very heart-breaking to find a B on my next report card with all this optimism in the air. Anyways, I'm done for the winter. There's lots of rejoicing and celebrating going on in our house. God celebrated by having it snow this morning. :D

Thank you God for all the beautiful snow.

Lazy

AAAAAAAAAH!!! He did it again! That Dr. Davies slipped another obscure adjective onto his test! This time it was the word for "lazy." Considering that over the entire course we have only covered three adjectives, happy, angry, and miraculous, I would think that the adjectives on the test would be slightly more predictable! The last one was "clever." We hadn't even used clever yet! It turned up in the next chapter! Of course, we had already done lazy by the time of the final, but I don't think it turned up in more than one chapter.

Perhaps if I hadn't been so ignavus, I would have studied more adjectives. Although I would have to be pretty callidus to figure out which obscure adjective he was going to put on the test.