Master of Interrogation

Yesterday while I was preparing my college lunch and Andrew was cleaning breakfast a great ruckus suddenly broke out upstairs.

"Hooray! Luke has tied his first shoe!" Heather exclaimed. Then Mom got excited and made an even bigger deal out of it and the upstairs rooms became very calamitous.

"Mark my words," Andrew said to me, "Luke brought an already tied shoe upstairs and told Heather he had tied it." Ha ha. Good luck, I thought. Every time I have sufficient proof that one of my younger brothers is lying, he will deny it and Mom accepts his word for it. Anyways Luke meandered downstairs as happy as a clam. "Hey Luke," said Andrew, "Did you take an already-tied shoe upstairs and tell Heather you had tied it?"

"How did you guess!?" Luke squealed. Andrew shrugged. Luke walked away. The end.

Really, nothing ever came from this encounter but a blog post.

Oh the Humanities!

Since I've already taken a Fine Arts course I'd like my other FA/HU course to be in the Humanities. Especially since I am so bad at art. I think I'm just unappreciative or something. (And who needs to take an UTC art class when they've already taken Mrs. K's in depth American Art class?) Anyways, while sitting in the library debating whether Intro to Judaism sounded more interesting than Biblical Literature, Luke pointed out a course on the next page called "Bio-ethics." Now that sounds cool. Also, if I remember correctly, Bioethics is the course that Mrs. Plaisted shamelessly plugged when I mentioned that I went to UTC. (Her husband teaches it.) I don't think I'll take it next semester, though. I'll wait half a semester so I can take Anatomy (Biology), Organic Chemistry (Chemistry), Bio-Ethics (Humanities), and Latin/Greek Roots in Medicine (Classics) in one semester. Isn't it amazing how you can take science courses for every general education requirement? (Really, I love science.)

20 hours

Yesterday I asked my Mom if I could take 20 hours next semester.

"Uh... Ask your father when he gets home," she said. Recently she hasn't been looking up from whatever she's doing when I address her. I bet she was planning a certain someone's wedding.

Later, when Dad walked in I asked him if I could take 20 hours next semester.

"Ho ho ho! No way, my beloved son in whom I am well pleased! I could not possibly let you work that hard!" Dad said, laughed for a bit and then left. (Disclaimer: Not exact quote. Approximation.) I'm still trying to figure out whether he would let me take 20 hours or not. Sigh. Sometimes being related to people with senses of humor can be a pain.

Option Play

Well, I thought I would be taking World Civilizations but Mom set me straight on that one. I'm taking Western Philosophy II next semester. PHIL 102 to be precise. What happened was that my GEOG course is a NW course. Since NW stands for Non-Western I assumed that NW courses were counted as WC (World Civilization) courses instead of Western Humanities. As it turns out, option 1 requires 2 WH courses and 1 NW course so the NW course was for option 1. Therefore I'm on option 1 and NOT taking World Civ. next semester. Hmph. So much for all my teacher research. Well, now I'm going to go research Western Phil. teachers. Goodbye.

Bomb Threat

Today there was a bomb threat on campus directed at the EMCS. I had gotten myself psyched up about a Physics test for nothing. I hope it really is cancelled because otherwise I'm skipping it and I've led many of my classmates who asked me if class was cancelled astray.

That brings me to my second point. The only thing creepier than the fact that the EMCS gets bomb threats is the fact that the entire class knows my name. Some blond chick I didn't know from Adam shouted "Duncan! Don't go in there! There's a bomb threat!" Apparently she's in my Physics class.

Then while sitting under a tree another blond chick came up and asked me whether I had talked to Bob Marlowe about whether class was still on. (Yes, people probably assume that because I speak in class the teacher and I are best buds.) I told her that I hadn't spoken to Dr. Marlowe but that he would probably not blame her for not attending class during a bomb threat.

Lastly I was walking along the street to the UC when another chick (brunette this time) asked whether I had heard about the bomb threat. I told her I had and that class was cancelled. The freaky thing is that every single one of these girls addressed me by first name and I, even though I've now spoken to all of them, still don't know their names.

Even stranger is that everyone in the first and second rows know my name and address me by first name for questions even though the only thing I know about them is where they sit! Weirder still is that the guy directly behind me (who might or might not be named Rob) refers to me as "Big D" like Matthew. I must have given my name out at some point during Physics... hmm.

Well, this post was labeled "bomb threat" but it was actually about my Physics class. Improperly named posts should be outlawed.

Phyyyyyysics...

Today, I prepared for tomorrow's Physics test with five hours of Physics problems. By the end of it I was nearly cross-eyed. One of my problems with excessive studying is that I begin to interpret everything in the terms of that subject. Every time I look around I see impulses, momentums, rotational movements, accelerations (centripetal, translational and tangential), etc. etc. I can't stop thinking about Physics. I keep wondering if I jump up will I be going the same speed when I land as when I jump? If so, how far could I jump? How long would it take me? What if I added in some rotation!? AAAGH!

I hope this means I'll get a high grade on tommorrow's test. Otherwise I will feel royally ripped off.

Class Schedule is Up!

Finally! The day you've all been waiting for! The day when the classes offered in Spring '10 at UTC are announced! Hurrah! I've gone ahead and made two potential battle plans. When I showed them to Andrew he said that I didn't need to choose immediately, that I could wait until Mom comes home. Shows what he knows. Ha. Here are the plans with the classes listed in the order that I take them on that day.

Plan 1:
MWF: (starting at 8:00) Scientific Writing, Microbiology, Latin. Microbio lab on Monday, Physics lab on Wednesday.
TT: (starting at 12:00) Physics, Western Civ

Plan 2:
MWF: (starting at 8:00) Anatomy, Scientific Writing, Latin. Physics Lab on Wednesday
TT: (starting at 8:00) Western Civ, Physics. Anatomy Lab on Tuesday.

Both plans clock in at seventeen hours.

Physics!

The first thing I find striking about Physics is how convenient it is. We all know how you can drop a watermelon and a ping-pong ball and they will hit the ground at the same time. Well today's homework has an extra-credit question about a marble rolling down a slope and a cube sliding down the same slope. It is amazing how closely tied rotational motion and translational motion were. As it was it the mass, the velocities, the height of the slope, the slope of the slope, the radius of the marble, the radius of the cube, etc. were all irrelevant. The ratio of the velocities at the bottom of the ramp as long as they were dropped from rest at the same height would never vary.

The second thing I find striking about Physics is how inconvenient it is. You can't use it for any practical purpose. Sure I could find the force exerted on the keyboard by my fingers, but would it really matter? The force exerted by a basketball on a court? Even if I knew how much force I had to put behind a basketball to make it arc with the proper displacement and angle into the net, would my mind even know what I was saying? Push the ball at 150 N at an angle 36.5 degrees above the lateral. Useless!

Easy to solve, impossible to use: Physics!

Bah, Rain.

Last night was the second time in a row that flag football has been canceled for rain. It is starting to become very problematic! I haven't even played one game yet because the only game that wasn't canceled started at 10:00 pm. I don't think my parents/drivers are as bummed about the run of cancellations as I am, however. Hm.

Rape Aggression Defense Class

When I first read the UTC e-mail announcing that this class would be available, my eyes got shiny and I thought to myself "boy oh boy! I would love to do this!" Then I read the byword "FEMALES ONLY!" Bah. Self-defense is so cool. Now I have to figure out a way to sneak into this class. Here are all my possible routes:

1. Dress in drag
2. Set up a camera and film this class
3. Show up day of and see if they'll let me in
4. Write an e-mail and see if they would let a guy participate anyway
5. Build a female robot
6. Pretend I'm a transsexual and decry the sexism of not letting me participate

I'll let you guys vote. Of course, Phantom Thief Duncan has already broken into the ARC (where it is being held) once before... hm hm hm.

The Cake was a Lie

Psych. I'm not actually playing flag football tonight. I thought I was when I wrote the last post but then I checked my e-mail and found out that it was cancelled. The only four-letter word strong enough to describe this situation is Cake.

FIRST GA-A-A-A-A-AME!

Tonight is the Amazing Duncan's Super Uber Duper Debut of Fantastical Flag Footballness. Last year I signed up for the flag football team on the most random of whims but I never went to a single game because my drivers lacked motivation. They still lack motivation but now I am focused! Of course during the practices I've had trouble reaching the quarterback in time to stop him from throwing the ball. Carl is just being nice when he says all that stuff about fencing reflexes. It is a literary device better known as "gross exaggeration." To be blunt, our team will probably be killed out there but we will never give up! We will never surrender! Fight RUFfians! (Disclaimer: RUFfians is not the actual team name but it should be. When I find out what our name actally is I'll tell you.)

Subjective Truth vs. Subjective Value

Recently our Economics Professor, Dr. Giffin was talking about why demand curves are always negative and in so doing explained utilitarian philosophy of "utils." Utils are units of happiness caused by something. For example a coke might give me five utils and wrapping my brother in a blanket and dangling him over a chin-up bar might give me 100 utils. However, he said something very interesting: That truth was subjective because people derive different amounts of utils from different activities. Of course, this statement is not true at all. I was just thinking about it this morning in this light:

Yesterday Mom said it would be OK if I went on to Netflix and streamed shows that I wanted to see. Naturally I took advantage of this generous offer and began streaming a show. The show was "Heroes." While taking a break so that someone else could use the computer (The computer is very highly demanded which is why I'm not using it now.) I ate some snack with Alexie. Alexie asked me why I was watching "Heroes" because according to all her research the show was lame and not worth watching. So is "Heroes" lame or not lame? Subjective truth!? No! It is objectively true that Alexie derives -100 utils from watching this show but it is equally true that I derive +100 utils from watching this show. My enjoyment of a show is not subjective. It won't change even if my sister can't believe it. Pleasure is just as objective as all other truths. The only thing that is subjective is the value that people place on objects, not the truth about the object or the truth about the values.

Organization

Ha ha ha. There are so many things in this world to organize! Entropy really is increasing! Trying to contact Megan to ask her if she'll help with the AAA banquet so that Molly (AAA intern) will know how many people are coming has been really tough. I haven't seen Megan face to face since Friday. (Except for a short stint before my Political Science class but I was in such a rush I forgot to mention it.) Also, the UTC people denied my claim to a room for the Vintage Dance Club because no such club exists. Grumble. I'm going to have to fix this. Right now I have so many notes on my arm it is starting to look like I was involved in a very painful typewriter accident.

The Problem with Jokes in Poor Taste

Hoorah! Ann Coulter came to our campus and talked!!! It was fully awesome. But! There was a problem. When I was driving home Alexie asked me what she talked about.

"Gah! I don't know," I replied, "Just Democrats, really." Ann Coulter was supposedly talking about the state of the nation, but with Democrats controlling the government, Democrats are the state of the nation.

"That sounds really boring," Lexie said.

"Ooh! But there were a lot of really funny jokes!" I said.

"Hm?"

"Well, there was one about how David Letterman subjugates his employees into sex items!"

"That is not funny."

"Well, no it's not. But I laughed!"

There's the problem with Jokes in Poor Taste. (I capitalize random things like C.S. Lewis does.) If you weren't there, it isn't funny. TBQH, I really shouldn't laugh at those jokes anyway.