Poem Contest

Alright, in celebration of the closing of the poll, write a poem about "Carl." It can be any type of poem: limerick, haiku, you name it. But try to fit "Carl" into your meter and comment on how unbecomingly his name fits into one-syllable slots. Leave your poems in the comment section of this blog post.

If you don't know who Carl is, you can look him up here: http://duncan-oh-yeah.blogspot.com/2009/05/dads-new-friend-carl.html

For some reason Dad can still remember this guy and recently commented on the one year anniversary. Who would have guessed that it would be conveniently immortalized in a blog post!

Off to the Mountains

Tomorrow morning I'm gone. I'm all packed and ready to zoom off! So, this is to say that I might not be able to make any blog posts for the next couple of days. I know I have said this many times in the past, and I know so far all such dire predictions have come to naught, yet I feel I am obligated to warn you that it might happen anyway.

P.S. The world might end tomorrow. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Birthday Month

When we were in Disneyworld it was my cousin's birthday on Sunday. We went to magic kingdom and had a really good time. For the rest of the vacation, Kathryn was "the birthday girl." Andrew said to me multiple times during this trip, "Stop wishing Kathryn a happy birthday. Her birthday was Sunday!" Just goes to show what he knows.

Yes, it is still her birthday. Tonight we are going out to dinner, a movie (Up, which you guys have already seen), and then ice cream. The celebration will not end! It's great! Grandma thinks it is just because Aunt Jennifer wanted to take her kids to see Up. I don't blame her.

Disney should adopt my Ranking System

I've been reading a Disney guide book on this trip. In this book they list every ride and assign it a number of stars. Unfortunately, these stars don't really mean anything to me because they aren't qualified so I'm going to make my own ranking system and list it here. Just for fun.

1-star (*): Little kid rides. Think Dumbo and all its unfortunate progeny. When little kids start crying, mothers put their children on these rides to put them to sleep.
Who will enjoy: Meredith, Emily.
2-star (**): Scares Meredith but excites Bryce, and therefore by extension Luke. Think little kid roller coasters and race tracks. When little kids say to their parents: "Put me on something really scary" and the parents don't have enough cruel sense of humor/irresponsibility to put them on something like TOWER OF TERROR!!! then they put their kids on this ride. For uppity young children.
Who will enjoy: Emily, Bryce, Luke, Grace (Connor would probably be bored.)
3-star (***): The rides that no one goes on. When you ask Aunt Jennifer if she went on them, she rolls her eyes.
Who will enjoy: Alexie
4-star (****): Rides that everyone will enjoy. The little squirts may or may not go on these rides, depending on how scary they are. Everything from PhilharMagic (Fun for the whole family) to Thunder Mountain Railroad (Fun for any of the family who don't mind broken ribs) that is fun and good falls into this category.
Who will enjoy: Everyone or most everyone, depending on how scary it is.
5-star (*****): The big attraction. These things attract lightning bolts like nothing else because they are the tallest things in the park and you can see them from anywhere in Florida. They garner the longest lines in the park that are slowed down by little kids crying their eyeballs out at the thought of riding and girlfriends who are only riding it because their boyfriends are. That's how scary and awe-inspiring these rides are.
Who will enjoy: Duncan, Kathryn


Well, that's it. I'm going to go alter all my past blog posts on disneyland to include my ranking system. I'll also put in the label "vacation" just in case any of you want to find these posts quickly. Just click on the label below.

Dad's New Friend Carl

Yesterday, Dad had the most unusual encounter with one of the workers at Disney. We were riding Expedition Everest (*****) over and over. The person contolling traffic was named "Carl." Carl looked to be over 50 years old. Carl was talking to a lady who was apparantly asking Carl for directions. Dad, being his usual doofy self, stepped in between them and flashed his tickets at Carl. Carl, taken aback, sputtered "You are so rude!" Dad glared at him and asked "Let me see your name." So Carl turned his back on Dad to protect his "Hi! I'm Carl and I LOVE YOU!" button from Dad's evil penetrating gaze. Dad grabbed Carl's shoulder to turn him around and then Carl screamed "DON'T TOUCH ME OR I'LL CALL SECURITY!!!"

Kathryn and I quickly dragged Dad into the line and rode Everest. Dad, for some reason, has not dropped this and has done annoying official things like "registering complaints" at guest services. In my opinion, he should just turn the other cheek and let this thing slide. I think this won't become a big deal and Carl will probably not be fired since he looks like he's been there since 1963 when Disneyworld first opened. Oh well.

Maniacal Crew

All week I've been part of the "Adventurous Crew," including me, Dad, David, and our cousin Kathryn. Kathryn is a true-blue danger and death nut. When we were preparing to come I was rather depressed because I was the only McPherson who expressed any interest in riding any ride moving faster than "It's a Small World." Then along came Kathryn.

Yesterday we went to DisneyQuest which is like an enormous arcade. The best ride, which just so happens to be the ride we rode a million times because it was awesome, was CyberSpace Mountain. (*****) What happened was that you designed a roller coaster and then rode in a flight simulator that rode you through it. It was awesome. Also I did it incrementally. You see, the first time I rode I was with Andrew. On the "Scream-o-meter" our coaster got three out of five screams. Booooring. When we gave the card with our coaster on it to the disney intern, she asked "You go upside-down three times. Is that all right?"
"N-", Andrew started.
"Yes!" I said. So we rode it and if Andrew wasn't a complete lame-o, he would have been able to stop clutching onto the handlebar long enough to press the emergency stop button. (According to him, he couldn't reach it.)

The second time (and third and fourth and fifth) I rode with Kathryn. Our first coaster got four screams out of five and if we weren't both digitally impaired and in a hurry to get on our coaster and die, we would have figured out how to change some of our boring coaster parts to EXTREME DANGER coaster parts. We just rode it and had fun. It went upside down five times. Our third time we put in nothing but EXTREME DANGER, NECK PAIN, AND STOMACH SWIRLING coaster parts. "YAY!" was our general reaction. We went upside down seven times. Our next time we went upside nine times. That was our max, unfortunately.

Today was Animal Kingdom and we rode the only roller coaster in the park, Mt. Everest (*****), at least a bazillion times. It was AWESOME!! I also convinced her to ride the Dinosaur (*****) ride, which turned me into a lifeless puddle of primordial goo the last time I rode it. It's great to have someone to be maniacal with you.

Singles' Lines

This is funny, so I might as well put it down although if any of my siblings read it they'll be bored because they were all there laughing at my expense as it happened. Oh well. Dad and I both have an affinity for "singles' lines" at Disneyworld. This is where people who don't have friends they want to go with can be matched up with other hapless suckers of the same nature to cut down on the number of "lone riders" which seriously slows the system. Anyways, it means you are constantly riding with people you don't know.

Alexie, naturally, thought the notion of singles' lines was ridiculous. She instantly thought "singles' bars."

"So what?" She asked, "Is a singles' line where you go to pick up single chicks?"

"What? Well sort of," I responded.

"So do you use pick-up lines? Like hey baby, what's your sign?"

"No."

"Since this is Disneyworld he should instead say 'Whose your favorite Disney character?'" Dad piped up.

So Alexie instantly thought up the perfect pick-up line which goes as follows "Whose your favorite princess? Because I think I just found mine."

Alexie added that if I used this on some girl I don't know, she would look at me in a digusted manner and might even slap me, so I don't think I'll use it. Ever.

Descended from a Fish

Today we went to Blizzard Beach, Disneyworld's water park. It was pretty awesome although I spent the entire day soaked to the bone. One weird thing about Blizzard Beach is that although after riding any one attraction you are soaked from head to toe, they still have paper towels and automatic hand blowers in the bathrooms. Oh joy, you think, now my hands are dry. Big whoop.

Anyways I ran all around that park doing one thing after another. I was in Dad's group and one thing to know about Dad is that he never does the same thing twice in a row. You think to yourself, "Hey, since I just got off this ride I could save myself the trouble of walking to another place by riding the same thing again." Dad however prefers to hop from one ride to another and then back again, which is a pain since Blizzard Beach is spread out like butter over too much bread. Anyways it was great.

Of course by the time we went home I was so sick of good old H2O that I never wanted to see it again. All of a sudden my younger cousin asked "Hey Duncan! You want to go into the pool with me?" (Our villa has a pool FYI) I think to myself, "Bryce, you have been soaking in the Lazy River for seven hours now. You must be as sick of water as I am." Nope. Bryce is the missing link between fish and humans. So Bryce and I had a rollicking good time in the pool. Getting even wetter and more isotonic.