Propogandization

Today I babysat for the Robinsons. I took care of Anna, Bryce, and Meredith. So as I sat around the table with them irresponsibly letting them eat junk food, Bryce piped up, "Hey Duncan? You know what would be cool?"
"What?" said I.
"If all the trucks were destroyed and made into trucks that didn't pollute," said Bryce.
"What!?" I exclaimed, "Where did you hear this?"
"I just think this," said Bryce.
"Was this your teacher's idea?" I asked.
"Yes," said Bryce.
Hmmmmm. Right there I felt like taking Bryce aside and explaining that the amount of coal burning necessary to generate the electricity for a truck produces more pollution that burning gasoline. Instead, I just played Pretty Pretty Princess with Meredith.

Childhood Memories

Yesterday I was in the car with my cousins for nine and a half hours. It got tiring pretty quickly. Half way through the trip, Aunt Jennifer said something to Bryce and instantly I remembered the many times my mom had said the same thing. Here's the story:

Bryce was acting up. Every now and then he would lean over to my chair and start moving his hand up my arm, through my sleeve, and tickling me. Whereupon I would bring both hands in and start tickling him full throttle. Then high-pitch shriek. After about thirty minutes of this Uncle Paul and Aunt Jennifer started having severe headaches.
"Be quiet Bryce," Aunt Jennifer said.
"I can't Mom," Bryce said. What he meant was that he couldn't be quiet if I tickled him.
"Then, don't lean over into Duncan's chair," Uncle Paul said. He actually said this multiple times during the car trip.
"I can't Dad," Bryce said.
Oh, here it comes.
"Why don't you ask God to help you?" Aunt Jennifer asked.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. I can't imagine why. It doesn't sound like something that every mother says. I don't think even every evangelical Christian would say this. This is the kind of thing that you grow up hearing and thinking "Ug, I will never say that to my children when I grow up." It's weird.

Disney should adopt my Ranking System

I've been reading a Disney guide book on this trip. In this book they list every ride and assign it a number of stars. Unfortunately, these stars don't really mean anything to me because they aren't qualified so I'm going to make my own ranking system and list it here. Just for fun.

1-star (*): Little kid rides. Think Dumbo and all its unfortunate progeny. When little kids start crying, mothers put their children on these rides to put them to sleep.
Who will enjoy: Meredith, Emily.
2-star (**): Scares Meredith but excites Bryce, and therefore by extension Luke. Think little kid roller coasters and race tracks. When little kids say to their parents: "Put me on something really scary" and the parents don't have enough cruel sense of humor/irresponsibility to put them on something like TOWER OF TERROR!!! then they put their kids on this ride. For uppity young children.
Who will enjoy: Emily, Bryce, Luke, Grace (Connor would probably be bored.)
3-star (***): The rides that no one goes on. When you ask Aunt Jennifer if she went on them, she rolls her eyes.
Who will enjoy: Alexie
4-star (****): Rides that everyone will enjoy. The little squirts may or may not go on these rides, depending on how scary they are. Everything from PhilharMagic (Fun for the whole family) to Thunder Mountain Railroad (Fun for any of the family who don't mind broken ribs) that is fun and good falls into this category.
Who will enjoy: Everyone or most everyone, depending on how scary it is.
5-star (*****): The big attraction. These things attract lightning bolts like nothing else because they are the tallest things in the park and you can see them from anywhere in Florida. They garner the longest lines in the park that are slowed down by little kids crying their eyeballs out at the thought of riding and girlfriends who are only riding it because their boyfriends are. That's how scary and awe-inspiring these rides are.
Who will enjoy: Duncan, Kathryn


Well, that's it. I'm going to go alter all my past blog posts on disneyland to include my ranking system. I'll also put in the label "vacation" just in case any of you want to find these posts quickly. Just click on the label below.

Descended from a Fish

Today we went to Blizzard Beach, Disneyworld's water park. It was pretty awesome although I spent the entire day soaked to the bone. One weird thing about Blizzard Beach is that although after riding any one attraction you are soaked from head to toe, they still have paper towels and automatic hand blowers in the bathrooms. Oh joy, you think, now my hands are dry. Big whoop.

Anyways I ran all around that park doing one thing after another. I was in Dad's group and one thing to know about Dad is that he never does the same thing twice in a row. You think to yourself, "Hey, since I just got off this ride I could save myself the trouble of walking to another place by riding the same thing again." Dad however prefers to hop from one ride to another and then back again, which is a pain since Blizzard Beach is spread out like butter over too much bread. Anyways it was great.

Of course by the time we went home I was so sick of good old H2O that I never wanted to see it again. All of a sudden my younger cousin asked "Hey Duncan! You want to go into the pool with me?" (Our villa has a pool FYI) I think to myself, "Bryce, you have been soaking in the Lazy River for seven hours now. You must be as sick of water as I am." Nope. Bryce is the missing link between fish and humans. So Bryce and I had a rollicking good time in the pool. Getting even wetter and more isotonic.